My Hate Affair
by dustWounded
Summary: I blog about love, my thoughts on it, my loathing of it. I am old enough to know better but my stupidity knows no bounds. He is a guy I've known for years and I have to a admit there's something there. This is the story of our hate affair.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary****:**

**I ****blog ****about ****love****, ****my ****thoughts ****on ****it****, ****my ****loathing ****of ****it****. ****I ****am ****old ****enough ****to ****know ****better ****but ****my ****stupidity ****knows ****no ****bounds****. ****He ****is ****a ****guy ****I****'****ve ****known ****for ****years ****and ****even ****I ****have ****to ****a admit ****there****'****s ****something ****there****. ****This ****is ****the ****story ****of ****our ****hate ****affair****.**

_Blog Entry #45_

Everybody seems to know of somebody who met somebody who knocked them off their feet so as to land them right on some guy's dick. Or in the case of said guy he happens to land dick first in a girl. Perhaps I am not making much sense but my point is that the idea of love at first sight is something that I reject. I don't believe in it.

I have this friend, let's call her Angela, she met her current boyfriend while perusing the shelves at the local library. A move that in my opinion could have proven risky. People who still go to libraries are often creepy. At least where we're from. Public libraries are where bums and other strange people go to use browse the Internet for free and secretly jack off to porn smack in the middle of children's story time. I only know this because I saw it with my own two eyes. When people warn you that there are things you can't unsee believe them. I will never again demand to see anything with my own eyes. I could have done without the visual.

Anyway, back to my point. She met this guy among the stacks and they just clicked. It was a magnetic pull. A week later they had already had sex and were planning on moving in together. Their romance reads like something out of a fairy tale. In fact, it has something in common with a fairy tale- it's a fantasy. The fairy tale ends with the big wedding and a promise of happily ever after but do they tell you how the prince smacks his bride around or cheats on her? Of course not. It wouldn't work if there was any ounce of reality in these stories.

That's why to most people, Angela's love at first sight story is a beautiful story. They dated for eight months, got married and were divorced six months later. See? The idea of a perfect love is pornographic. We get off on the prospect of a perfect romance. We don't get to know people, we just focus on how pretty they are or on how skilled they are with their fingers. Hell, some people care about social standing. Sexual chemistry is easy to attain. You're not talking much. I have another friend who is happiest when her boyfriend is pounding into her. You can probably guess why but I will tell you anyway: because the fucker is not talking.

We should all be so lucky to be able to find the perfect person. The perfect person does not exist. They become perfect to us because we look past their faults and all of that cliche crap. We all change, adapt to our partner, and it's a good thing. After a relationship we are never the same.

I think I've said enough for today. It's been a craptastic one for me. I have no idea what to write for my next blog entry. I don't even know that anybody reads this. I know I don't. That's why I ask that you forgive any typos or grammatical mistakes.

-Linda Cisne

Comments:

_Carrochio_E: I found you. I told you I would. Challenge accepted and met. Why do you try to hide from me? Your thoughts, your mind... I can't get enough of either. _

_Linda Cisne: You're a creep. How did you even find me? I guess I shouldn't be surprised though. Your persistence is noted and admired. _


	2. Chapter 2

I used to be a morning person. Getting to bed at a decent hour was easy when I lived at home. Now that I was in college I had no routine. Not a healthy one at least. I would repeat the same absurd pattern every night. Stay up later than I should only to be tired the next day. It hadn't been so bad while I had a roommate but Victoria had turned out to be an unstable bitch who was kicked out midway through our first semester of freshman year. Since then I had managed to live on my own and thus nurture my night owl tendencies.

I rubbed my eyes as the alarm still blared. I cursed myself for once again leaving my paper to the last minute. I had done all the research ahead of time but couldn't get myself to sit down and write the damn thing. I spent the entire day in the library and finally came back to my room after dinner. I had been up until three in the morning editing and making sure the paper met all of the requirements. I finally slammed my hand over my alarm clock before getting up out of bed.

My cellphone served as my usual alarm but when I had important things coming up I preferred to rely on a traditional alarm clock as backup.

I had given myself enough time to shower and grab breakfast before my class. My professor thought it would be a good idea to have our term paper and final exam on the same day. If I hurried I would be able to review my notes.

When I went into the bathroom that I shared with the suite next door I heard the shower running.

"Will you be long in there, Jess?"

"I'm almost done, Bella. Good morning."

"Morning. I'll be back in five. I hope you're done by then."

As I finished speaking I heard the shower stop and curtain rustle. Jessica emerged wrapped in a towel with her shower caddy in her hand.

"All yours," she said, waiving as she went back into her room.

Jessica had been my suitemate for the past year. She was what I would consider a little slutty but she wasn't doing anything that men hadn't been doing for eons. She would occasionally get loud enough for me to complain. She and I weren't friends by any stretch of the imagination but we were friendly. We'd share goodies from our parents and occasionally order food together. Her friend Lauren Mallory was another story but thankfully she wasn't around often.

After my shower I dressed in jeans and a shirt. My black Repetto ballet flats seemed the best choice of shoe. I didn't feel like wearing socks. I wasn't very fashion savvy, brands and designers were not things I concerned myself with very often. Longchamp and Repetto were two exceptions.

I grabbed a granola bar from my stash in my desk drawer as I left my room. Half way to the stairwell I realized I hadn't grabbed my paper. I muttered a choice curse word as I made my way back.

Once I made it to the lobby I slipped my headphones on and pulled out my notes. I tried to multi task but in reality it was almost impossible for me to read, listen to music, and make my way to class. Navigating the swarms of bodies required my full attention most of the time.

I was rounding a corner when I felt somebody tug at my bag.

"I know it's you, Edward. Quit being annoying."

"Good morning to you, too."

"I'm in no mood for your crap this morning. Leave me alone."

"Four years and you're still as catty as ever."

"You've been a douche since the moment I met you. Why we're friends is beyond me."

"You like me. You want to be more than friends. Admit it."

"Don't flatter yourself."

The gods were smiling down on me because he was accosted by crazy Tanya and forced to stay behind. I was free of him for the time being.

Edward and I had a complicated friendship. He had enrolled in my high school during our junior year. He insulted me on his first day telling me he had never seen somebody so tiny. He may have called me a midget. I called him an asshole.

From that moment he was in my life. He would seek me out at lunch, steal bites of my food, shake me down for money so he could go to the vending machine. He even doodled in my notebooks while I pretended to ignore him as I site beside him. He was a cocky and arrogant bastard, and still was.

I also found him rather handsome which pissed me off to no end. He got away with a lot because deep down I had a soft spot for him.

By our senior year we orbited in the same circle of friends and often went out together. We talked on the phone often and texted almost everyday. Even though I thought he was hot and he told me he admired my ass our relationship was platonic.

His being an asshole helped.

**a/n:**

**Not sure that anybody is reading this but should there be a lurker out there... I plan to post short chaplets at least once a week. **

**My freshman year of college I lived in a dorm that had one bathroom between two suites. Much better than having to walk down the hall to the communal bathrooms. Those got nasty quickly, especially over the weekends. Yuck. **

**See you next time!**


End file.
